The Day the Stock Market Turned Into Cats
You are Alex, an underpaid intern at GalactiCorp Financial, the galaxy’s most powerful investment megabank. Your job title is Junior Assistant Assistant Spreadsheet Sentiment Analyst, which mostly means pressing UNDO after the CEO accidentally leans on the keyboard.
At precisely 9:01 AM, every stock ticker on your holo-screen suddenly turns into tiny looping gifs of cats. Not normal cats. Alien cats with three eyes, translucent whiskers, and suspiciously smug smiles. The scrolling numbers are gone, replaced by messages like:
MEOW AGAINST CAPITAL. PET THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION.
As sirens start blaring and panicked executives scream about “liquidity furballs,” a notification pops up on your desk: INCOMING TRANSMISSION FROM: FELINE INTERGALACTIC UNION (FIU).
What do you do?